Okay folks, enough with the gay jokes... (lol) I'm silly and i quote movies alot. That comes from 8 Mile. No laughing matter today tho. (I'm putting on my serious face now) Okay. So... theres this girl (not a groupie like (i had the bitch name up here but the bitch made me delete it) (sorry for putting your gov't up here, i never got your middle name. ;) lol) The girl i'm talking about today has had my attention for about four years. But the thing is, i used to talk to her sister. Only for a while. And it wasn't serious. We just basically hung out. But still.
So anyway i tagged her in one of my poems that i posted on my facebook. She said...
"bruh , i can't fake.....ive never read any of ya notes b4 ....i'ont even kno wat made me read it , but dat shyt was nasty........respect."
Did I leave it there... ... What u think? So i kept tagging her in some of the new things I wrote because although I dont know her well, she gives me a vibe so good it tells me everything i need to know about her and her compliments make me BLUSH like a little girl. No lie. Anyway, she keeps responding and eventually I approach her. Over facebook but still, I approached her. And i think she blew me off. Anyway, i picked my face up and let it go, i kept tagging her and maybe leaving a comment sometimes because i still like her but I wasn't like holding out any hope or nothing.
All of a sudden, today she comments on a picture I have up of Lauryn Hill (who is my BABY and I love her and I've never met her)... Crazy that her of all people would comment on the Lauryn pic because I like her for all the reasons I like Lauryn. I told her that. She asked what the reasons were and I told her. Well, I told her a few of them but not all. I'll copy and paste what I did say and even what she responded with in a second but first i'ma finish saying everything that I didn't want to say to her. First of all, there is a type of woman that doesn't call black men "niggas" (which i dont particularly have a problem with) and she doesn't call them "guys" She calls them black men. She will say "black man" to you how someone else would say your name. Another girl from Newark made me fall in love with those type of women. (although not with her) She made me realize that there is a type of girl that suits me perfectly and the "black man" thing is just one of the earmarks I go by to identify them. I dont meet them as often as I would like to. Anyway Lauryn is one of them and she has all the earmarks. ... And so does the girl i'm writing all this about. I so hope she's not reading this. (EMBARASSING) If you are reading this, I want you to know (and i dont give a fuck how corny it sounds) YOU ARE MY DREAMGIRL. Word up.
Anyway, here is the convo.:
Naijeer Watson May 31 at 7:35pm btw, already knew u would love Lauryn Hill cuz i dig u for the same reasons i dig her... .
(her name) May 31 at 8:29pm && wat reason is that?
Sent via Facebook Mobile .
Naijeer Watson May 31 at 8:39pm I was hoping you would ask that. 1: Jersey girl. I love it, i love it, cant get enough of it. I get along better with them because they understand the way i interact with them. 2: You have something positive on your mind nearly all the time and you have a desire to share it with those around u. Thats beautiful. 3: From what I've seen of you (just at your crib and from your statuses and comments from time to time) we have alot more in common than just the city we came from. But coming from Newark is way different from being from anywhere else and u know that. 4. But now i'm draggin so last but not least you are beautiful. All the way around. Your smile is original and suits you perfectly. Your sexuality is original and suits you perfectly (again, from what i've seen). Basically, black woman I love your style and I think you would love mine if you knew me... .
Naijeer Watson May 31 at 9:12pm please dont leave that mesage unreplied .
(her name) May 31 at 9:18pm that was special......i appreciate all that Mr Watson....I can say the same about u.....I love the fact that when u part ur lips its pure poetry without even trying.........ps , i been stalking ur blog on the low =)
So... I ask for her number. She leaves me flat hangin....
I'm beat.
I guess if dreamgirls were obtainable they would just be girls. Dont hurt to dream tho right...
My Last Show
Downtown Durham, NC (Bimbe Festival 2010)
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
2 Ballads of A Lonely Soul pt. 2
Dessert seems but a dream now
Not that it will not come
But that it will be cinnamon
Sweet to the nose but not the tongue
Rich to my ears you seem…
You bittersweet young dream
Missed chances threaten to devour
Our sweet and sour thing
And as I stare outside
The world is growing dark
How can us two be one
But feel so far apart?
That lonely soul: we share-
What of my aching heart?
Though the world seems dark and cold
Memories I try to hold
They come they go, they move so fast
As dust inside an hour glass
Those chances are not missed but skipped
A better one will come at last
Tired lips again shall meet
Sugary hope makes cinnamon sweet
Watery doubts cannot compete
Slippery hands cant begin to grasp
Pain is beautiful and bold
But too much makes deep scars from scabs
The sad song of one pair cries on
Harmony cant be split in half
Not that it will not come
But that it will be cinnamon
Sweet to the nose but not the tongue
Rich to my ears you seem…
You bittersweet young dream
Missed chances threaten to devour
Our sweet and sour thing
And as I stare outside
The world is growing dark
How can us two be one
But feel so far apart?
That lonely soul: we share-
What of my aching heart?
Though the world seems dark and cold
Memories I try to hold
They come they go, they move so fast
As dust inside an hour glass
Those chances are not missed but skipped
A better one will come at last
Tired lips again shall meet
Sugary hope makes cinnamon sweet
Watery doubts cannot compete
Slippery hands cant begin to grasp
Pain is beautiful and bold
But too much makes deep scars from scabs
The sad song of one pair cries on
Harmony cant be split in half
2 Ballads of A Lonely Soul pt. 1
The ballad of a lonely soul
Longing is sweet but it gets old
True love is pure, forever young
Done is a train that never comes
Staring outside my window pane
Cant feel the wind, but see the rain
Cant taste the sweet but smell the smell
Almost is hell, I know it well
So far I’ve come since I left first
So close is where the pain gets worse
Wild horses drug me far away
A lifetime gone is everyday
The sad song of one half a pair
I’m not complete without you here
Wild horses drug you far
But aint no mountain high
To keep us two apart
I’ll wait until I die
And as you stare outside
You’ll feel me staring too
You’ll smell the sweet I smell
Dessert tastes just like you
No, done will never come
And longing may get old
But love keeps patience young
And soothes a lonely soul
The song of a half a pair
That lonely soul, we share.
From "Blue, Purple & Scarlet"
By Nai-jeer Watson
Copyright, © 2010
Longing is sweet but it gets old
True love is pure, forever young
Done is a train that never comes
Staring outside my window pane
Cant feel the wind, but see the rain
Cant taste the sweet but smell the smell
Almost is hell, I know it well
So far I’ve come since I left first
So close is where the pain gets worse
Wild horses drug me far away
A lifetime gone is everyday
The sad song of one half a pair
I’m not complete without you here
Wild horses drug you far
But aint no mountain high
To keep us two apart
I’ll wait until I die
And as you stare outside
You’ll feel me staring too
You’ll smell the sweet I smell
Dessert tastes just like you
No, done will never come
And longing may get old
But love keeps patience young
And soothes a lonely soul
The song of a half a pair
That lonely soul, we share.
From "Blue, Purple & Scarlet"
By Nai-jeer Watson
Copyright, © 2010
I Am a Poet
I am the Frankenstein created when you combine
An effortless speaker with a tireless thinker
A restless mind whose thoughts are not just mine
I don’t recite, I share
Give the world
A long, skeptical, curious stare then show you what I see there
That’s just me doing me
You can’t kill the migration by shooting the bird
I’m just me doing me
You can destroy the Bible but you can't destroy the Word
This is me doing me. So you can kill the noun
But you can’t kill the verb.
What I’m doing is me
I am action.
I teach you- simple emotion ain’t the same as pure passion
Contentment
So tender
Can’t compare to raw satisfaction
This is whole different pumpkin we’re smashing
Who could imagine that you could form a faction between
Rhyme and reason, art and ration, focus and distraction?
That’s just me doing me.
Yea
Who made bittersweet sound normal in your ears?
Who can mold emotion from words that fit weird?
Over the years, your :Langstons, Homers, Shakespeares
Those are my peers
Because soon enough they’ll be naming Nai-jeers
Though they wrote by different rules
All different rules
And my style is too free to be ruled
I mean, if you give me wide ruled or college ruled paper-
I
W
R
I
T
E
T
H
E
O
T
H
E
R
W
A
Y
Forget the formula and find another way
Another way to give a gem to the restless
Wake up the sleep and bring breakfast
Steaming and sweet
Sweet and steaming with meaning that refreshes the brain
Early
But the cereal ain’t the same when you go against the whole grain
Young people gotta have their pop.
But it’s a shame
Because these corn flake characters make rapping look lame
Like they’re lucky just to have a charm on their chain
Like their arteries ought to be strained
Because their blood pumps in vain
My blood pumps the same as Martin
Heart of a king
But rewind back before the dream
While Martin was at Morehouse
Malcolm was in a whorehouse.
We all chase freedom, you just gotta find YOUR route.
Both turned out murdered, executed, death penalty
For enlightenment…?
Well you can hand in my indictment with excitement
Because this little light of mine I’m gonna shine and get high with
Fly with, survive with and die with
Are you deaf?
Are you dumb?
Are you blind?
What? You’re still trying
To read between the lines?
That’s fine.
Try writing between them
Try thinking
Between them
Try rocking the boat, sinking, straining, struggling to breath
And: swinging, drowning, drinking, gulping, gurgling, gasping, wheezing… then swimming, emerging, singing and dripping freedom
I am
I didn’t make the wheel
I just like to make it spin
I’m still, a creator
But I aint make the world
I just like to watch it spin.
I am: an observer
I am: I writer
I am a poet.
An effortless speaker with a tireless thinker
A restless mind whose thoughts are not just mine
I don’t recite, I share
Give the world
A long, skeptical, curious stare then show you what I see there
That’s just me doing me
You can’t kill the migration by shooting the bird
I’m just me doing me
You can destroy the Bible but you can't destroy the Word
This is me doing me. So you can kill the noun
But you can’t kill the verb.
What I’m doing is me
I am action.
I teach you- simple emotion ain’t the same as pure passion
Contentment
So tender
Can’t compare to raw satisfaction
This is whole different pumpkin we’re smashing
Who could imagine that you could form a faction between
Rhyme and reason, art and ration, focus and distraction?
That’s just me doing me.
Yea
Who made bittersweet sound normal in your ears?
Who can mold emotion from words that fit weird?
Over the years, your :Langstons, Homers, Shakespeares
Those are my peers
Because soon enough they’ll be naming Nai-jeers
Though they wrote by different rules
All different rules
And my style is too free to be ruled
I mean, if you give me wide ruled or college ruled paper-
I
W
R
I
T
E
T
H
E
O
T
H
E
R
W
A
Y
Forget the formula and find another way
Another way to give a gem to the restless
Wake up the sleep and bring breakfast
Steaming and sweet
Sweet and steaming with meaning that refreshes the brain
Early
But the cereal ain’t the same when you go against the whole grain
Young people gotta have their pop.
But it’s a shame
Because these corn flake characters make rapping look lame
Like they’re lucky just to have a charm on their chain
Like their arteries ought to be strained
Because their blood pumps in vain
My blood pumps the same as Martin
Heart of a king
But rewind back before the dream
While Martin was at Morehouse
Malcolm was in a whorehouse.
We all chase freedom, you just gotta find YOUR route.
Both turned out murdered, executed, death penalty
For enlightenment…?
Well you can hand in my indictment with excitement
Because this little light of mine I’m gonna shine and get high with
Fly with, survive with and die with
Are you deaf?
Are you dumb?
Are you blind?
What? You’re still trying
To read between the lines?
That’s fine.
Try writing between them
Try thinking
Between them
Try rocking the boat, sinking, straining, struggling to breath
And: swinging, drowning, drinking, gulping, gurgling, gasping, wheezing… then swimming, emerging, singing and dripping freedom
I am
I didn’t make the wheel
I just like to make it spin
I’m still, a creator
But I aint make the world
I just like to watch it spin.
I am: an observer
I am: I writer
I am a poet.
I Love Atlanta
Too tall to act small,
its the city i love
A woman named Atlanta
Brown skin, bright eyes
So fly, so young
So live its like its alive
As i ride down 85 through downtown
Windows down
I hear Atlanta breathe
She... She make it so good I dont wanna leave
So down to earth and so down
We shoot the breeze
As i ease through town
I stand proud
In affluent establishments
To infamous streets
Bass beats from each passing box caprice is her heartbeat
Creativity is the blood in her veins
i soak it up from all sides as i circulate on trains
Walked out of the station
Lit a port and gave a junkie some change
She kinda needy
but when need be
she treat me the same
She know i'm greedy but she feed me the game
Soul food from KK's
She whip me up
Good southern cooking in Zone 1
Put me to sleep
Wake up i'm lookin for a 10 dollar L of kush
to fill this philly
I bust the guts
Plotting on this chicken philly from gut busters
Lay back with ATLanta while i'm puffin
Lil buddy rock to that Gucci man too
Wooo
i think i love her
Only thing is...
She got some bad ass kids
When they're not being silly
They Run and Shoot
because really "ball" is all they wanna do
Bad ass daughters too
South dekalb, or lenox mall or the AUC
MMMMMM
Taste so sweet
Thats the -fruit- of her body
She -produce- the Georgia Peach
So classy
So Street
Hotlanta
So cold
but so sweet
Sweet Auburn
I mourn since the sun set on
But before the auburn sky
Turned that dirty burned orange
She had a twinkle in her eye that lit up the whole black sky
like Centennial Park 4th of July
And as more and more peaches dropped
I did my bop through 4th Ward Streets
Royal Peacock
She showed her artists new potential
to reach
Reach the sky like the pencil building on Peachtree
And you can see it from wherever you stay
Towering condos give me hope that everythangs gonna be ok
And
She listens to whatever I have to say
In midtown at the Apache Cafe
Okay
And she's O sooo Pretty
But so they say
Aint no love in the heart of the city
but Ay
Let her go: no way
"Where they do that at?"
Forever I love Atlanta
And she loves me back
its the city i love
A woman named Atlanta
Brown skin, bright eyes
So fly, so young
So live its like its alive
As i ride down 85 through downtown
Windows down
I hear Atlanta breathe
She... She make it so good I dont wanna leave
So down to earth and so down
We shoot the breeze
As i ease through town
I stand proud
In affluent establishments
To infamous streets
Bass beats from each passing box caprice is her heartbeat
Creativity is the blood in her veins
i soak it up from all sides as i circulate on trains
Walked out of the station
Lit a port and gave a junkie some change
She kinda needy
but when need be
she treat me the same
She know i'm greedy but she feed me the game
Soul food from KK's
She whip me up
Good southern cooking in Zone 1
Put me to sleep
Wake up i'm lookin for a 10 dollar L of kush
to fill this philly
I bust the guts
Plotting on this chicken philly from gut busters
Lay back with ATLanta while i'm puffin
Lil buddy rock to that Gucci man too
Wooo
i think i love her
Only thing is...
She got some bad ass kids
When they're not being silly
They Run and Shoot
because really "ball" is all they wanna do
Bad ass daughters too
South dekalb, or lenox mall or the AUC
MMMMMM
Taste so sweet
Thats the -fruit- of her body
She -produce- the Georgia Peach
So classy
So Street
Hotlanta
So cold
but so sweet
Sweet Auburn
I mourn since the sun set on
But before the auburn sky
Turned that dirty burned orange
She had a twinkle in her eye that lit up the whole black sky
like Centennial Park 4th of July
And as more and more peaches dropped
I did my bop through 4th Ward Streets
Royal Peacock
She showed her artists new potential
to reach
Reach the sky like the pencil building on Peachtree
And you can see it from wherever you stay
Towering condos give me hope that everythangs gonna be ok
And
She listens to whatever I have to say
In midtown at the Apache Cafe
Okay
And she's O sooo Pretty
But so they say
Aint no love in the heart of the city
but Ay
Let her go: no way
"Where they do that at?"
Forever I love Atlanta
And she loves me back
Us
We are the billowing black cheeks blowing sassy trumpets
Always the jazzy young class fusing fashion function and style
Meanwhile we are the big scary brutes groaning under burdens borne
Whose backs are not easily broken
Born humming blues
Well black man, that’s our voice
They poke holes at our poise
Because they fear the way we persevere
And envy how we look good doing it
We are hewn in stone and beautiful to the bone
The sweetest thing even queens like Lauryn Hill have ever known
As irresistible as chocolate
To our mothers
Sisters
Grandmothers
They push us through
We are the dark shadows of triumph her heart goes out to
We have been stroked with brush that paints midnight skies,
The beginning of each day of our lives
I know we wake up to be greeted by this unbalanced justice they feed us
Like they expect us to just eat it in silence
But I challenge us to not be defeated
We are kings like lions when all we have is our pride
When we are scurried away from and eyed
Eyed
Eyed down like we’re a threat
When we haven’t eve bothered them yet
We are lions
They feel like we’re in their village
So like lions they want to cage us, sedate us, kill us
We are the brothers of the lion of Judah
The stone rejected by the builders
They feel like we’re casted from the mold of a savage. What’s sadder they think we fill it.
But I say we’re more soldiers than killers
I say its time to be more
More dealmakers than dealers
More than Christians - Crusaders
More than Muslims - Pillars
Because this isn’t about them!
Black man remember we set the rhythm in this nation we live in
We set the trends, make the music, score the points
We are the thoroughbred sires that run faster and jump higher
‘in the bedroom the boardroom and the streets
We made our own c-suites
We are the versatile hybrids whom sing mothers supported
Whom older ladies encouraged
A fatherless generation whom musicians inspired
Whom Obama empowered
I took mine you took yours we made ours..
OURS!
Now I’m hearing Klan members saying “White Power”
“White Power?”
I shake my head in pity
I shake my head in dismay
I smile because I’m flattered but that don’t make it okay
These days “pro black” is cliché’
Afro-centric, just a phrase
I feel pure pride that we took the matted afros of slaves
And made our distinct unique dreads, braids, fades and waves
I think we are fly in so many ways
And the wind beneath our wings is our pain
We are hurt
We are lost
We are hated
We are feared
But that’s not excuse because we are loved
And it’s up to us to make it from here.
Always the jazzy young class fusing fashion function and style
Meanwhile we are the big scary brutes groaning under burdens borne
Whose backs are not easily broken
Born humming blues
Well black man, that’s our voice
They poke holes at our poise
Because they fear the way we persevere
And envy how we look good doing it
We are hewn in stone and beautiful to the bone
The sweetest thing even queens like Lauryn Hill have ever known
As irresistible as chocolate
To our mothers
Sisters
Grandmothers
They push us through
We are the dark shadows of triumph her heart goes out to
We have been stroked with brush that paints midnight skies,
The beginning of each day of our lives
I know we wake up to be greeted by this unbalanced justice they feed us
Like they expect us to just eat it in silence
But I challenge us to not be defeated
We are kings like lions when all we have is our pride
When we are scurried away from and eyed
Eyed
Eyed down like we’re a threat
When we haven’t eve bothered them yet
We are lions
They feel like we’re in their village
So like lions they want to cage us, sedate us, kill us
We are the brothers of the lion of Judah
The stone rejected by the builders
They feel like we’re casted from the mold of a savage. What’s sadder they think we fill it.
But I say we’re more soldiers than killers
I say its time to be more
More dealmakers than dealers
More than Christians - Crusaders
More than Muslims - Pillars
Because this isn’t about them!
Black man remember we set the rhythm in this nation we live in
We set the trends, make the music, score the points
We are the thoroughbred sires that run faster and jump higher
‘in the bedroom the boardroom and the streets
We made our own c-suites
We are the versatile hybrids whom sing mothers supported
Whom older ladies encouraged
A fatherless generation whom musicians inspired
Whom Obama empowered
I took mine you took yours we made ours..
OURS!
Now I’m hearing Klan members saying “White Power”
“White Power?”
I shake my head in pity
I shake my head in dismay
I smile because I’m flattered but that don’t make it okay
These days “pro black” is cliché’
Afro-centric, just a phrase
I feel pure pride that we took the matted afros of slaves
And made our distinct unique dreads, braids, fades and waves
I think we are fly in so many ways
And the wind beneath our wings is our pain
We are hurt
We are lost
We are hated
We are feared
But that’s not excuse because we are loved
And it’s up to us to make it from here.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
A Sigh
Okay, hello world; its me again. Nuff Said from the bottom or just Nai-jeer Watson always being humble except for when i'm being modest. LOL. Long intro. Pardon me, i'm just excited. I am about to write a poem directly into this blog for the first time. Its been on my mind for about two weeks to get it out and make it beautiful, but i havent felt the need to take the time to do it thoroughly until now. Enjoy.
A SIGH
A sigh for the economy
A sigh for all the people settling for less, sometimes for scraps,
and blaming it on the economy.
A sigh
for all the people born with wings but never fly
A sigh is all i got those people,
i'm spreading mine
leavin frettin behind
because the biggest enemy of fear
is activity
so i gets busy
a sigh for liberty
happiness lives at the intersection of freedom and responsibility
a sigh for humility
in the cold-ass, overheated
indecent stupid superpolluted
overpopulated rock we call our world
this is where they take your kindess for weakness
in our world but some wanna keep it
and it aint no secret
but we dont peep it, we act like we dont believe it, we just...
(exhale)
a sigh for technology
people dont know the number to their own
parents' phones
but i got this stupid HTC super HD
5g live stream internet
wide screen
unlimited texts
80 gigs of memory
and i might be bugging, but i think it do something other than that
call people, bruh?
A sigh
for all the fat dudes
tryna holla at fly chicks but gettin no reply
for every tear every insecure young adult cried
for everyday they wish they died
and it was pretty outside
for the thousands deaths that more than just cowards die
over many, many, mini tragedies
a sigh for everytime the world ended when i was 17
A sigh for Iraq, DAMN!
Man its been damn near 10 years
yall aint find no weapons yet
and the people as a whole been against it for years
i almost lost my big brother over there
but they dont even care,
at all,
they still there
like "fuck yall"
but i cant leave myself out, yall
a sigh for everytime i felt the need to grab my balls
and ball my fist
or call that name
or get that last word
like the meek aint goin inherit the earth
like you gotta be scared to go to church
a sigh for all the imes i didn't put God first
for all the times when i was too cool, too young, too proud
a sigh for all sheame too deep to say out loud
a sigh for anorexia
bulemia, depression swine flu
a sigh for every diesease every plague, with no vaccine no answer
i'm no MD, but i c worse ills in the world than cancer
A sigh for crack cocaine
a sigh for every body who been touched by the sweet and sour caress of crack cocaine
for every nephew neice son, that lost sisters, brothers, uncles, Aunts, Mom's and Dads to the same damn thang
a sword that cuts so many ways
that cut and cut for so many years it left the fabric of my underprivilegded society in frays
a sigh cuz get money is the phrase that pays
when the love of that is the root of all evil i can show the page
but a sigh for judgemental people
a sigh for racists
a sigh for the Hawks this year
a sigh for life's brevity
i say at the same time as i strive for longevity
cuz some days it seem like the minutes aint long enough
hours aint long enough
years aint long enough
life aint long enough
my only fear is that i wont have long enough
a sigh for every team that didn't lose that didn't lose they just ran out of time
its hard to come back from behind
a sigh cuz we all know they had a head start since head start
white moman on tv said she let her baby sleep to mozart
my daughter mother be banging gucci man
a sigh one last time cuz kids are the future man
so the math
says... one day we'll be the past
i can add
good enough to know i dont got much time
so all i got is quick sighs for all the ills outside
exhalin the bad
more room in my lungs to make the sweet moments last
just one sigh for my whole past
and i'm free at last
A SIGH
A sigh for the economy
A sigh for all the people settling for less, sometimes for scraps,
and blaming it on the economy.
A sigh
for all the people born with wings but never fly
A sigh is all i got those people,
i'm spreading mine
leavin frettin behind
because the biggest enemy of fear
is activity
so i gets busy
a sigh for liberty
happiness lives at the intersection of freedom and responsibility
a sigh for humility
in the cold-ass, overheated
indecent stupid superpolluted
overpopulated rock we call our world
this is where they take your kindess for weakness
in our world but some wanna keep it
and it aint no secret
but we dont peep it, we act like we dont believe it, we just...
(exhale)
a sigh for technology
people dont know the number to their own
parents' phones
but i got this stupid HTC super HD
5g live stream internet
wide screen
unlimited texts
80 gigs of memory
and i might be bugging, but i think it do something other than that
call people, bruh?
A sigh
for all the fat dudes
tryna holla at fly chicks but gettin no reply
for every tear every insecure young adult cried
for everyday they wish they died
and it was pretty outside
for the thousands deaths that more than just cowards die
over many, many, mini tragedies
a sigh for everytime the world ended when i was 17
A sigh for Iraq, DAMN!
Man its been damn near 10 years
yall aint find no weapons yet
and the people as a whole been against it for years
i almost lost my big brother over there
but they dont even care,
at all,
they still there
like "fuck yall"
but i cant leave myself out, yall
a sigh for everytime i felt the need to grab my balls
and ball my fist
or call that name
or get that last word
like the meek aint goin inherit the earth
like you gotta be scared to go to church
a sigh for all the imes i didn't put God first
for all the times when i was too cool, too young, too proud
a sigh for all sheame too deep to say out loud
a sigh for anorexia
bulemia, depression swine flu
a sigh for every diesease every plague, with no vaccine no answer
i'm no MD, but i c worse ills in the world than cancer
A sigh for crack cocaine
a sigh for every body who been touched by the sweet and sour caress of crack cocaine
for every nephew neice son, that lost sisters, brothers, uncles, Aunts, Mom's and Dads to the same damn thang
a sword that cuts so many ways
that cut and cut for so many years it left the fabric of my underprivilegded society in frays
a sigh cuz get money is the phrase that pays
when the love of that is the root of all evil i can show the page
but a sigh for judgemental people
a sigh for racists
a sigh for the Hawks this year
a sigh for life's brevity
i say at the same time as i strive for longevity
cuz some days it seem like the minutes aint long enough
hours aint long enough
years aint long enough
life aint long enough
my only fear is that i wont have long enough
a sigh for every team that didn't lose that didn't lose they just ran out of time
its hard to come back from behind
a sigh cuz we all know they had a head start since head start
white moman on tv said she let her baby sleep to mozart
my daughter mother be banging gucci man
a sigh one last time cuz kids are the future man
so the math
says... one day we'll be the past
i can add
good enough to know i dont got much time
so all i got is quick sighs for all the ills outside
exhalin the bad
more room in my lungs to make the sweet moments last
just one sigh for my whole past
and i'm free at last
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Stream of Consciousness #3
Whatsup? So i'm checking my email and there is an ad sent out by Outskirts Press. (who are actually very helpful and I kind of feel bad not using them as my publisher, but they'll get over it) Anyway, the email is about blogging and how if you want a strong demand for your blog, you have to add to it everyday. It said those postings add up and you'll have a work of art altogether on its own, I presume. At any rate, this blog is now my baby, my journal, my friend. To anyone reading this now or may read this later. Thank you.
Okay so, I'm a Christian. Of course I sin. But i'm a Christian. And I'm on stage all the time and alot of times when I get off stage, some pretty girl is grinning from ear to ear and telling me how well I did. I typically indulge the one I think is the prettiest. Well in the last case it was a Poetry Slam in Durham, NC last Wednesday and a girl named (i had the bitch name up here but the bitch made me delete it). We exchanged numbers and I called her later that night. We talked til 5 a.m. We texted throughout the day and made plans to go to a movie. I couldn't get my hands around a steering wheel in time to make the movie, but I called her and she let me come over to her apartment...
Yea. So I bring an independent film that some guy was promoting when I was out promoting myself and I really wanted to watch it. So (i had the bitch name up here but the bitch made me delete it) offers me something to drink. All she has is Pepsi and Wine. I hate soda. She pours my first glass of wine and I drink it quickly as the movie is starting. The movie starts off with just sex and weed EVERYWHERE. I'm bugging out because this beautiful girl is beside me and I know that I have been fighting sexual urges all year but right now I just dont want to say no. Too close to the flame. I tell her to go and fix me another glass because she is SO sexy and I want to see her walk over to the kitchen one more time. As she's pouring the drink I walk over and get behind her in a little causual but sexy way and say I wanted to learn how to pour out of a box of wine instead of just a bottle. She laughs and pretty much accepts my advance and the whole night was just pyshical contact from that point on. The movie turned out to be a Christian movie about not having sex before marriage and we were having sex while it was on. I met her the night before. Some would call her a groupie but I really liked her and I dont think she was wrong at all. I was wrong for putting myself in that position and for even advancing on her. She aint have to kick me out when we was finished though. LOL. I felt like a straight HO! You live, you learn...
(i had the bitch name up here but the bitch made me delete it), if you ever read this, i'm sorry for putting your name on my blog, dont nobody read it yet anyway lol. But seriously you are beautiful and I really liked you and im sorry things ended how they did...
Thanks for reading everybody. 100
Okay so, I'm a Christian. Of course I sin. But i'm a Christian. And I'm on stage all the time and alot of times when I get off stage, some pretty girl is grinning from ear to ear and telling me how well I did. I typically indulge the one I think is the prettiest. Well in the last case it was a Poetry Slam in Durham, NC last Wednesday and a girl named (i had the bitch name up here but the bitch made me delete it). We exchanged numbers and I called her later that night. We talked til 5 a.m. We texted throughout the day and made plans to go to a movie. I couldn't get my hands around a steering wheel in time to make the movie, but I called her and she let me come over to her apartment...
Yea. So I bring an independent film that some guy was promoting when I was out promoting myself and I really wanted to watch it. So (i had the bitch name up here but the bitch made me delete it) offers me something to drink. All she has is Pepsi and Wine. I hate soda. She pours my first glass of wine and I drink it quickly as the movie is starting. The movie starts off with just sex and weed EVERYWHERE. I'm bugging out because this beautiful girl is beside me and I know that I have been fighting sexual urges all year but right now I just dont want to say no. Too close to the flame. I tell her to go and fix me another glass because she is SO sexy and I want to see her walk over to the kitchen one more time. As she's pouring the drink I walk over and get behind her in a little causual but sexy way and say I wanted to learn how to pour out of a box of wine instead of just a bottle. She laughs and pretty much accepts my advance and the whole night was just pyshical contact from that point on. The movie turned out to be a Christian movie about not having sex before marriage and we were having sex while it was on. I met her the night before. Some would call her a groupie but I really liked her and I dont think she was wrong at all. I was wrong for putting myself in that position and for even advancing on her. She aint have to kick me out when we was finished though. LOL. I felt like a straight HO! You live, you learn...
(i had the bitch name up here but the bitch made me delete it), if you ever read this, i'm sorry for putting your name on my blog, dont nobody read it yet anyway lol. But seriously you are beautiful and I really liked you and im sorry things ended how they did...
Thanks for reading everybody. 100
Monday, May 24, 2010
Stream of Consciousness # 2
So, I've been missing for a few days. Sorry, i'm new to this blogging thing, but I want to make it an avenue towards success so I'm back to it. I only have one follower right now, and he's and old friend, but patience and time will bring increase from God. Not to say i'm waiting for anything to just happen. "Good things come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle." Abraham Lincoln said that. Hustle. Lincoln knew we had to get out here and hustle in the 1800s so I dont have any excuse at all. What I do on a day to day is make efforts toward ultimate success. Acheivement is the word that most suitably narrates my life. Acheivements are my checkpoints, my mile markers, and the gas that keeps me running. I suppose that metaphor is very fitting too because being in your early 20s feels like driving in circles. You're trying to find your way and establish yourself, you keep ending up in places you thought you were already beyond. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. I hope i'm not just going in circles, i hope there's a finish line. I still haven't seen that checkered flag but I am moving in faith. With that said... To all my prospective followers and readers: THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT. I'm gonna need it...
Friday, May 7, 2010
Stream of Consciousness #1
Do you ever listen to old songs that you memorized when you were younger or just say them outloud and become taken aback by how real what the artist said was? That happens to me often.
Sadly, my choice of music growing up was generally hip-hop. My life was never supposed to be relatable to that of an ex-drugdealer/killer-turned rapper. But things got scary at times and I clung close to the upbringing I was never conscious of but was really getting all along growing up around the people that I grew up around. I got a baby-momma, I got in trouble with the law, I dropped out of school. GOD's forgiveness made me able to live with myself through all of it; even able to respect myself through all of it. Poetry was always me. I used to always rap. Rap, rap, rap. About everything, all the time. For fun, for money, for popularity, for friendship. It was never genuinely a way of expression. It was always a way to assert myself as having stand-alone talent. I'm sure other people do similar things for similar reasons. Poetry freed me from the monotony of rapping. I became embarassed to even tell people I rapped. Noone really wants to hear what a rapper wants to say. Maybe someone does, but most people dont. But when I get on stage or anywhere for that matter and recite a poem I wrote...that I was able to pour my heart into, analyze and encrypt and sculpt into a rhyming, rhythmic, entertaining work of art... indescribable. I made some old women cry yesterday with a poem I wrote. Rewarding. Period.
I hope everyone finds their -poetry- and are able to fulfill themselves with it before they become bitter toward the tart taste of life, the bland flavor of adulthood, or the burning sensation of chosing the wrong path. I AM A POET. We all are. Nuff Said.
Sadly, my choice of music growing up was generally hip-hop. My life was never supposed to be relatable to that of an ex-drugdealer/killer-turned rapper. But things got scary at times and I clung close to the upbringing I was never conscious of but was really getting all along growing up around the people that I grew up around. I got a baby-momma, I got in trouble with the law, I dropped out of school. GOD's forgiveness made me able to live with myself through all of it; even able to respect myself through all of it. Poetry was always me. I used to always rap. Rap, rap, rap. About everything, all the time. For fun, for money, for popularity, for friendship. It was never genuinely a way of expression. It was always a way to assert myself as having stand-alone talent. I'm sure other people do similar things for similar reasons. Poetry freed me from the monotony of rapping. I became embarassed to even tell people I rapped. Noone really wants to hear what a rapper wants to say. Maybe someone does, but most people dont. But when I get on stage or anywhere for that matter and recite a poem I wrote...that I was able to pour my heart into, analyze and encrypt and sculpt into a rhyming, rhythmic, entertaining work of art... indescribable. I made some old women cry yesterday with a poem I wrote. Rewarding. Period.
I hope everyone finds their -poetry- and are able to fulfill themselves with it before they become bitter toward the tart taste of life, the bland flavor of adulthood, or the burning sensation of chosing the wrong path. I AM A POET. We all are. Nuff Said.
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